@MattAbbottPoet

@MattAbbottPoet
Image © Copyright Amy Charles Media 2014

18 Aug 2009

Lowlife


When there’s nothing left for death to take away
You strain yourself to struggle through the day
You have the gift of isolation
Starved from sight or conversation
You’re paralysed, you’ve never been so scared
In the depths of your mind, where mercy is spared
You’re searching for a reason to be sober
Never been dry since that week in October
And you can’t find the comfort in conform
You just shudder, shelter from the norm
It’s all you know, oh

I’m so sick of this, I’m so tired of this
I’m so sick of this lowlife, fuck right off with the same old bullshit
I’m so sick of this, I’m so tired of this
I’m so sick of this goddamn lowlife that I inhabit

When the only words she’s giving you are cold
The memories you cling to are desperately old
Reluctantly hiding in resistance
Find yourself questioning your existence
And all you want is something more
But you can’t unlock your bedroom door
And she’d sooner sleep alone than stay
When there’s nothing left for death to take away
Destruction has found its full throttle
You can’t see past the bottom of the bottle
It’s all you know, oh

I’m so sick of this, I’m so tired of this
I’m so sick of this lowlife, fuck right off with the same old bullshit
I’m so sick of this, I’m so tired of this
I’m so sick of this goddamn lowlife that I inhabit

When there’s nothing left for death to take away
You strain yourself to drag from day to day
Eyes wide open, arms aloft
You scream at the world to fuck right off
When you can’t unlock your bedroom door
And there’s nothing left worth fighting for
You’ll find that bottle, find that vein
The deeper you get, the sweeter the pain

And you’re far too scared the find the truth
You miss the blanket of your youth
When you wake in the morning, you can’t bear to face
The reflection before you, that fucking disgrace
You step outside but no-one’s there
You hide behind an icy stare
When you slip to the shadows and sink to the street
Hands in your pockets, eyes on your feet
And you’ve never got money, it’s pissed up the wall
You run from your family, too scared to call
When your girlfriend ignores you, she doesn’t exist
You carry a warning, constantly pissed
And there’s nothing left, it drags you further
There’s nothing left, it drags you further
There’s nothing left, it drags you further
There’s nothing left to fade away
And there’s no existence, you can’t resist
No existence, you can’t resist
There’s no existence, you can’t resist, oh
There’s no existence, you can’t resist
No existence, you can’t resist
There’s no existence, you can’t resist, oh

15 Aug 2009

Fireworks



That delicate way you take me to that distant place
I never really told you because you never asked
And I never really notice until I’m left to chase
I’ve barely stopped to breathe and the moment’s passed

And that delicate way you break me, design my night and day
Devotion soon devours, anxiety would roam

And then I'm scrutinising sentences, every single word you say
And I’d kick myself for hours on the journey home

Watching fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, as our love grows

Fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, watch our love grow

The only way to love myself is spending time with you
The only way to love myself is spending time with you

The only way to love myself is spending time with you
The only way to love myself is spending time with you

So let’s not ruin this with words, the chat-up lines and charms
'cause nothing else feels quite as safe as lying in your arms

This moment is for keeping, Lose everything we ever knew
And those sighs when you were sleeping, I know you feel the same way too

I'm pining for a second of treasured interaction
A lifetime would be blissful but I'll settle for a fraction

Watching fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, as our love grows

Fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, watch our love grow

The only way to love myself is spending time with you
The only way to love myself is spending time with you

The only way to love myself is spending time with you
The only way to love myself is spending time with you

Watching fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, as our love grows

Fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, watch our love grow

Watching fireworks, through the window

Fireworks, as our love grows
Fireworks, through the window
Fireworks, watch our love grow


29 Jul 2009

Maria, Full of Grace


I saw the beauty in her eyes
And though I searched, I could not recognise a soul
Well she was blind from compromise
And as she talked, I recognised that time had taken toll


And she would stop herself from smiling
But the bottle was beguiling
She’s satisfied in silence as she sits
And she’s satisfied with silence ‘cause it fits
Oh yeah, it fits
I saw the sadness in her sighs
And as I watch, I know she tries to make amends
I’ve seen the days that she’ll despise, inconspicuous disguise
And time had taken toll on her wits
And you would never hear her laughter
Here on in or ever after
She’s satisfied in silence as she sits
And she’s satisfied with silence ‘cause it fits
Oh yeah, it fits


‘cause when I saw my sweet Maria
She was lonesome and afraid
And through the night-time she was crying on the pillow as she said
And though she longs for me to free her
No more a mistress than a maid
She would stop herself from trying
‘cause she was lonesome and afraid


I saw the weakness in her words
And though she’d speak, I never heard it from her heart
And they were often quite absurd, it’s just the way that she preferred
As time had slowly taken her apart
And she would stop herself from speaking
Of the freedom she was seeking
She’s satisfied in silence as she sits
And she’s satisfied with silence ‘cause it fits
Oh yeah, it fits
I saw the darkness in her days
And she would spend her time just gazing at the wall
And her friends would say it’s just a phase, and plod-along with old clich├Ęs
As time had taken toll
I saw the curtains were concealing
She was certain of the feeling
She’s terrified in silence as she sits
But she’s satisfied with silence ‘cause it fits
Oh yeah, it fits


‘cause when I saw my sweet Maria
She was lonesome and afraid
And through the night-time she was crying on the pillow as she said
And though she longs for me to free her
No more a mistress than a maid
She would stop herself from trying
‘cause she was lonesome and afraid

22 May 2009

That Week In October



That week in October was sullen and dark
There's a sorry recluse and it's by Regent's Park
In a Georgian Hotel, not exactly exquisite
I'm drowning my sorrows for the length of my visit
I wake in the morning to my greatest of fears
The shade of my cheeks was from vodka and tears
I stand by the sink but I can't bear to face
The reflection before me, that fucking disgrace

I pause for a minute and perch on the bed
Fight back the vomit and cradle my head
Cuss at myself before pulling together
And stepping outside to the welcoming weather
The Baker Street station is bustling and busy
The dash for the train leaves me nauseous and dizzy
The journey itself is a silent affair
And I strive to avoid the compulsory stare

I drink to the thought that the day's nearly over
11am and I'm no longer sober
I cling to your neck as I moisten my lips
And I've made it my choice 'cause I can't get to grips

Silently slumping, the others outside
My forehead is thumping , I swallow my pride
The haze that descends is a keen substitution
But it proves at the end an unworthy solution
By late afternoon it has come to a close
The stench of the drink makes sure everyone knows
The onlookers wince as I shudder and swig
I'm soon well aware of the whole that I dig

A far cry from pleasant, I wouldn't advise it
A nasty old bastard, but everyone buys it

That week in October was sullen and dark